Why I Deleted Old ‘Gather The Rosebuds’ Content

Well, hello! I guess if you’ve only just joined the blog, then this isn’t going to be a particularly interesting post. However, if you’ve read my blog over the last two years or so (I’m not even sure how long I’ve had it at this point!) then stick around, because today I want to chat about why I deleted 200+ posts off my site – and why I have no regrets at all about doing it.

So, let’s start at the very beginning. Back in 2016, I started up this blog. I’d blogged before, but this site was the first one that I really LOVED. I was passionate about it, I was excited to have a platform to write on again without the criticism of it ‘not being perfect’ – and also, let’s not lie here, I can be a bit of an attention seeker. I liked having a place to be completely self-indulgent. To talk about things that I wanted to chat about, to give my opinions on books, tv, films and skincare – and also, to chat about the deep and personal stuff.

I started writing about my mental health VERY openly on this blog, and to some extent, I still do. I make no secret of the fact I’ve had a tough relationship with food. I’m not afraid to talk about my health anxieties or my experiences with OCD… however, I was beginning to share a lot more information that I had ever thought I would with the internet.

At first I didn’t really care. Until slowly people in my ACTUAL LIFE started to talk about things that I’d written on the blog, that I’d probably not have just brought up in casual conversation. I think what I’d begun to realise about my blog, was the sheer scale of people who were reading it. And yeah, this sounds hella stupid – like OF COURSE people are going to read your online diary… but I hadn’t really processed who and how many were.

Sure, it might not be as many as some – but my Google Analytics was telling me that I was getting daily hits from certain parts of the UK, people were coming back to view my site – and in real life, people were also commenting to me about things that they’d read on my blog, that I hadn’t really expected them to know.

I’m all for sharing my life with people and I’m not ashamed of my past mistakes in any sense, but I think for me, I was finding that my blog content wasn’t reflecting me as the person that I was evolving into, over the last couple of years.

When I started my blog I was 22, I was young, a bit of a drama head and I definitely used it as a platform to talk shit about people. The older and more mature I’ve got, the less I want to do that. The less I care about other people’s opinions and the more I just want to leave the past in a package back there – and get on with living my life, as it is, right now.

So, I guess that’s why there are only 20+ posts on the site now. Sure, I don’t have things to look back on as much, but I’ve got pictures, real diaries and a more safe space online now. I’m more careful about what I’m posting and I’m never doing it for the sake of it!

Rach

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