Dear Diary… Why Can’t I Switch Off

Over the last few days, I’m beginning to experience what I can only describe as “mental burnout”. I’ve felt knackered even when I wake up in the morning, I’ve felt unmotivated to do anything on my commute but stare out the window and at work I’ve had to really fuel myself with caffeine and motivational music to keep myself going.

I don’t know what’s going on lately but I think I’m beginning to realise is that, even during my downtime, I really cannot switch off my brain.

I don’t mean that in a, ‘god look how great I am, I’m always motivated to do things’ way… but rather, I find it incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to fully relax, to take a break and to not give myself endless projects and stress for myself to manage.

Which inevitably, has lead to a bad case of burnout at the moment.

I’m realising that if I’ve got a weekend stretched out in front of me, with no plans and no reason to get up… and say, I wake up at 10 – I will honestly beat myself up for wasting time in the day.

Time that could be spent at the gym, or writing, reading, calling friends, baking, shopping, chores, journaling… any number of things that I feel obliged to go and do.

If I’ve got a moment to myself I’m immediately questioning myself, berating myself for not being more motivated to get things done

So, as a resolution to myself, I’d like this year to be a year where I give myself a break. Not necessarily from working hard or filling my time, but a break from feeling guilty on the days when I’m not doing that.

And with that- I’m going to go and lie on the sofa and binge Netflix all evening!

Rach

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