Although I’m getting married in a couple of months, I thought that today I would chat about something a little different to my usual stuff – as I’ve recently been dispensing advice here, there and everywhere about relationships! (Plus I’ve had this post lurking in my drafts for about a year and I want it gone into the big wide world!)
Nowadays, everywhere I look it seems that people are either coupling up, getting engaged or having babies- but that isn’t always the case. A few people I know have recently taken a little trip to heartbreak hotel (somewhere I used to practically permanently reside) – so today, let’s chat about long-term relationships ending and the best way to cope with moving onwards and upwards.
Cut it off.
I’m a firm believer that the hardest part isn’t actually breaking up, but instead not going back to that person when you get panicked or feel the loneliness of being without them. I’ve tried to get back together with one person before and even if it works for a while, ultimately, the reasons that you broke up in the first place will remain. Cutting them off for your own sanity will make it so much easier in the long-run to try and move on.
Talk it out.
I don’t know if this works for everyone, but for me personally, I’ve always found that talking to people about how shitty I’m feeling and all the regrets and doubts I’m having, often helped me to vocalise how stupid I actually sounded. I used to talk it through with my mum in particular to remind myself of the reasons that things ended in the first place.
Avoid making drunken decisions.
Um, yeah we’ve all been guilty of this one I think? The first thing I used to do when a relationship had ended would be to call up my best girls and to hit a bar. Now, I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with that (far from it!) but making rash decisions whilst you’re intoxicated tends to (in my experience) lead to regret or feeling pretty crap about it in the morning.
If you wanna go out and meet tons new people, then you do you boo – but make sure that you’ve got a good friend or a mildly clear head before you decide to commit to doing anything!
Move on at your own pace.
I met Luke 5-months after my long-term relationship had broken down. I had started dating around 4 months before that, because to be honest, it felt right for me. I knew that I would need to meet new people and move on to feel better and get my ex out of my head… so that’s what I did.
However, I think only you know what works best for you. If you don’t feel like dating and just want some time / a lot of time to figure out what it is YOU want, then do that! Don’t bow to the pressure to have moved on first, or to feel like you ‘have to be single’ for any amount of time.
Time is the biggest healer.
Although it feels like the entire world is crashing down around you when a relationship ends, remember that you had a life before them, and that you will have a life after them. Everything takes time, but little by little it WILL get better. (Yes, I know how annoying it is to hear that) but it’s the damn truth. I remember lying on my bed thinking I was going to never be happy again! Always the drama queen eh?
Hopefully this advice was helpful for someone and if you are going through a break-up, remember that eventually you’ll look back on this as a distant memory. Look after yourself.