I’m a planner by nature. I’ve always been organised, I’ve always had goals and achievements and I’ve always looked 5 steps ahead in my life, to see where I’ll be going next.
It’s a huge part of the person that I am, and in some ways I don’t think that will ever change.
Thinking forwards means I’m always pushing myself. Thinking into the future means I’m never one to settle for second best or to become complacent. I find I need to plan in order to progress… but I’ve recently started trying to live in the moment a whole lot more, for a number of reasons.
The main thing that’s sparked this is that, I’ve realised that no matter how much you plan, you can never avoid some of the hurdles that life is going to throw at you.
I was lucky and for the last 2 years or so, everything was bloody peachy. I met a great guy, we moved in together, we got engaged, we got the kittens… and honestly on the surface it was like all the little pieces of my jigsaw puzzle were finally fitting together.
But lately, things have been harder. My job isn’t quite what I hoped it would be, our finances are a bit in the air, and our cat has a degenerative illness that I have no idea where it’s going to turn next.
I’ve started not to plan everything as far ahead, because I’m highly aware that sometimes things are just out of my hands.
It’s probably healthy for me to finally relinquish some of the control that I love to have over myself and my life, and just take everything one day at a time, as it comes.
Sure, my life isn’t as perfect right now as it once was, but there’s still so much wonderful stuff. I’m so lucky to have what I do… and honestly, I’m getting joy from the unknown right now.
Who knows what will happen in the next days, weeks or months? I guess that’s half the fun in it.