On being the first one to get engaged

I am currently 23 years old and I’ve been engaged for around 6 months now. It’s something that took me a little while to get used to, (considering I’m a flailing mess and I didn’t think anyone would ever actually ask me!) but also I’m the first person in all of my friendship groups to get engaged and I’m also still what most people consider ‘very young’ to be making that next stage of commitment.

So here are the things I’ve learned from being ‘the first one’ to put a ring on my finger:

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Everyone is genuinely excited

Sorry, I kinda know this is harsh- but once you’ve been to around 5+ weddings the novelty is going to start to wear off a little. Being the first one to do it has meant that everyone has been super involved and excited about the whole thing! It’s only fair though…  I’m one of the summer birthdays, which meant I was late to turn 18 and 21. Lemme have this!

People get judgemental

I’m sure that about 2/3 years ago I was also bitching about people who had got married or were popping out babies at ‘our age’, but it’s true- people are so quick to judge others on any decisions that they make. It’s not been friends so much, but I know that several people have slightly raised an eyebrow, asked how long we’ve been together or probably thought I was intensely religious (I’m not FYI) It’s been frustrating that I’ve felt the need to justify my happiness to people, but I guess it doesn’t really matter at the end of the day. If my life is that interesting to someone else, then I guess I’ll take the compliment.

Nobody else realises how expensive the whole thing is

I mean bless my babes’ hearts but they’ve been sending me so much stuff that I should do for our day, tagging me in Facebook videos or planning a Las Vegas hen-do. Lawd I wish, but we are le pooooooor. Did ya know it costs nearly 100 quid just to feed one damn person on your wedding day? (Silent scream for help)

The guest list is a political nightmare

Everyone wants a plus-one, everyone wants to come, where the hell do I put people, why do I have to plan this, who do I pick as my bridesmaids… oh my god, all of the panic.

Nobody will realise this until they have to do it themselves!!

I am so not #relatable 

The problem with being the first person is that I can’t actually ask anyone else what the actual fuck I should be doing. My girlfriends are the ones that I defer to for any kind of advice, but I feel like this is the first time I’m not able to look to them when I need extra help making decisions. Shout out to my mum for basically knowing everything about everything. You the greatest!

The other thing is I literally don’t want to be that person who talks about weddings and weddings alone to people who 10/10 don’t care.

Nobody has anything to compare it to

This is one of the best things I think! I’ve seen so many beautiful and incredible weddings that I just know I’d get jealous of. But since I’m the first one in most of my friendship groups there hopefully won’t be too much comparison between us!

If I can survive until November then it will be a damn miracle!

Rach

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