This post is inspired by the wonderful Amanda Bootes- you can find her blog post here.
Thank you to the first guy who ever told me I was ugly after I turned him down for a second date. I was 12 years old. I had the most fragile and easily shattered confidence ever at the time. Thank you for reminding me that I was too immature to waste my time with silly boys at that age and to enjoy spending the next few years with my close friends instead. You also taught me the lesson that the male ego is as fragile as glass- so thanks for giving me the tools to fight my own corner in the future. Silly boys eh?
Thank you to the guy who topped up my wine glass all night at a party, until I was so drunk that I couldn’t think straight. You taught me that people aren’t all good in the world and gave me the nudge to be more cautious and careful in the future. I’m lucky that your little plan didn’t work out. I’m also glad that I learnt to steer clear of creeps like you from that point onwards.
Thank you to the guy I lost my virginity to. I learned many valuable lessons from you. Namely, never have sex with anyone who makes you feel like an idiot because you’re inexperienced. You were much older than me and you should have known better. I’m glad that I left you in the past after one night. Thank you for also reminding me that I am allowed to have one-night stands and casual sex without it making me “a slut”. I am a fuck awesome woman, who could sleep with as many people as she liked.
Thank you to the boyfriend who wanted to keep our relationship a secret from everyone else. You were a master of manipulation and I genuinely almost believed that you were doing this for my benefit?! Thank you for teaching me that I am confident and brave and for giving me that strength to dump your ass, even though you were my first love. I deserved so much better. I found so much better, even though that didn’t work out in the long run.
Thank you to the boy who told me I was “being paranoid” when it turned out I was right. You can label me a psycho all you want, but ain’t nothing going to remove the stains on your conscience. Thank you for reminding me that weak people use the “psycho” excuse and that you were always the problem. Thank you also for giving me the strength of character to realise that it wasn’t my fault.
Thank you to the ex who told me I wasn’t funny. Which is, if you think about it.. funny – because I made your friends laugh harder than you ever could. Thanks for reminding me that jealousy comes in many forms and that I need someone who builds me up instead of trying to drag me down.
Thank you to the guy who wouldn’t let me call him a boyfriend even though he met my family and I saw him nearly every night. You were cool, but I met someone far cooler, far nicer and far better. Thank god that you didn’t want to make it official. Thank you for teaching me what I wanted.
Thank you to the first tinder date who ghosted after I didn’t want to have sex with him.
Thank you to the men who tell me to “cheer up love” because I’m cursed with resting bitch face.
Thank you to every single person who made me the person I am today.
Even though I didn’t enjoy it at the time, you’ve all moulded me into this kick-ass woman that I am now.