I have a lot of insecurities in my life (to the extent that Luke once literally put his hand on my mouth and told me to stop worrying about everything) – but despite all my trying to avoid these thoughts, I often get caught up in the spiral of feeling my twenties is some kind of massive ‘Game of Life’ style checklist… and that if I haven’t ticked all the boxes off by the time I’m 30 then I’ll be full of regrets.
It’s a bizarre one, but talking to other people of my age- I really don’t think I’m alone in this. There’s a huge amount of pressure for young twenty-somethings to have it all these days, and it can often feel to me like my head is absolutely full of bees just trying to make it through the day- let alone finding the perfect career, the house, the relationship, the family, the travel, the hobbies…. ALL OF THE ACHIEVEMENTS.
I assume that most of this pressure is coming from comparison of people around us. I find it’s not just the stream of bloggers, vloggers, friends, colleagues, family and random internet pals that add to your ‘not quite feeling like your enough’ vibe, and Christ alive it’s even worse when that person is younger than you.
I was watching the winter Olympics the other day and one of the champion ice dancers was 15! She skated on in her little dress and basically blew my frickin’ socks off with how amazingly talented she was.
Well, after that, hell did that send me on a spiral.
15… 15!!? What have I done in the extra 8 years of my life??
When I was 15 I was lying drunk in a field and still thought that it was cool to smoke, crimp my hair and wear eyeliner on my waterline VOM VOM VOM.
(FYI I wrote a whole letter to that idiot which you can read here)
I was a complete fool, and I can’t help but feel that other people made so much more of that period of years than I did.
Sure, I’ve been to uni, got my MA, got a job- I kinda feel quite happy that I’ve got my own house and actually have pets that rely on me- but I defo am still feeling a lot of pressure that I might have wasted some of the best years of my life and the feeling that I’ve still got absolutely crap tons to cram in before I hit 30.
(Cue the brain full of bees)
It’s entirely ridiculous though. Because regrets, jealousy, bitterness and wishing that you had what someone else has = a very unhappy and unproductive existence….
So- for me and everyone else- let’s all take a damn deep breath.
Remember that your twenties is only the beginning of *hopefully* a very long happy life.
Nobody is timing you on when you manage to achieve things in your life and the only person who’s really putting the pressure on is you alone.
Life doesn’t stop being adventurous and exciting when you get a bit older- instead, you get to take all the wisdom, the stupid mistakes, the learning and the growth into the next 50-60 years.