I wrote a post on the 1st January that I was going to attempt to come off my antidepressants. I’ve been on and off them so many times (3 to be exact), that I knew that this time I really had to resist the urge to just stop and ease off very slowly- so for the last 4 weeks I’ve been taking one every other day- but how’s it been going?
The first week or so that I was on-and-off I had THE WORST HEADACHES. Like I honestly felt like my brain was splitting itself in two- I actually had to take a day off work because I couldn’t look at screens or drive in- but when you’re ill you’re ill right?
I’ve not had much sickness or nausea, which is what I suffered from last time, but I have definitely felt less hungry and a bit more spaced out lately.
Well, shit mate my mood has been haywire this month- I’ve either been ridiculously OTT happy, bouncing off the walls and having the best damn time- or I’ve been in a full-on bitch strop with the world. It’s definitely something to do with the tablets I reckon, as my mood is normally pretty flat and chilled. I’ve been irritated by small things and made upset by dumb stuff. I’m hoping that this kinda resets itself soon!
My anxiety has been reasonable actually. I’ve had anxiety and stress provoked by work and the fact that I had to work such long hours this week- but on the whole, I’ve felt pretty good about life and myself.
I have had two massive OCD flare-ups over January. Both of them were health anxiety related and both involved a crying meltdown to Luke and my mum (lucky them!)- most of my health anxiety fixates around irrational things like public toilets (have an insight into my insane mind) but I’m lucky that I have support networks in place when I have horrible thoughts but I can’t tell if these were correlated to coming off the tablets or they were just inevitably going to happen anyway? Two in a month seems pretty standard for me to be honest- and I think I handled these pretty well by not acting on them.
I’ll probably do these in monthly updates- so that you can follow the progress if you’re coming off yourself or considering it.