On comparison.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but do you ever find yourself comparing your life to other people? Am I the only person who literally feels like everyone else is always doing bigger, better things that I just can’t compete with?

I was reflecting on this earlier as I was debating what I’d like to write and the comparison problem is literally so embedded in my personality, that I feel like I need to address it.

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I’m sure that most people get a flash of the green-eyed monster from time to time. We’ve probably all wished that we could have another person’s situation or looked at someone else’s feeds, blogs or life and thought ‘Well, fuck, what’s even the point? Mine is never going to match that level so I might as well just throw in the towel now?” I know that I’ve been guilty of this in the past- and even to this day.

It’s particularly prolific I think when you’re in the blogging community. There are so many people out there to compete with and sometimes I’ll scroll through other people’s feeds or posts and just feel engulfed in the bubble of comparison and self-doubt. Sure- I can be happy for other people’s success and I’m a full-on cheerleader of those who work hard to be where they are, but you can’t help the very real human emotion of jealousy that often pops up when you find yourself looking at beautifully curated images, sponsored deals or really A+ pieces of writing.

There’s something to be said about this from ‘real life’ as well. They always say that ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ (I don’t know who they are- but THEY say this ok!) and comparing yourself to other people is just a sure-fire highway to feeling like you’re being left behind. Social media- although ace and all- is the pinnacle of self-doubt and comparison. It’s a feed sprinkled with everyone’s life highlights and just 10 minutes on that is enough to give even the most confident people a bit of doubt in themselves.

My biggest guilt is looking at things that I know will make me feel shit but still looking- and then comparing myself from there. It’s not jealousy, it’s not that I want to be that person- it’s just that I feel like there are aspects of myself that aren’t anywhere near as good. I’ve been so guilty in the past of reading things, looking at things or comparing my body to other people and I’m working so hard right now on trying to do that less.

But why do we do this? Why are people so hell-bent on comparing, measuring up and hating on other people who have the things that we don’t? Ultimately, I don’t really have an answer. What am I going to gain from putting myself down and wishing that I had things that I just don’t?

I read a really useful piece of advice about this which said, ‘you’re the only person who can tell your own story’- and although that may be unbearably cringe, it is true. I have everything in my life that I could possibly need at this moment. I’m in a situation that (although is by no means perfect) is pretty much as close as I’ve ever been to it- and putting myself through the grief of comparing myself to other people is never going to improve my situation or make me any happier.

I am literally the only person in the world who would write this blog, this way- and that in itself should be enough to make you feel valuable and unique.

No joy ever came of wishing that you were like someone else- so it’s time for me and everyone else to embrace that.

Rach

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