To a complete stranger, I feel like I might be the kind of person who looks like they have their life together. I’m engaged, I live in a nice (but rented) house, I have kittens, a job, food on the table, time to blog and write and enough money to do fun things at the weekend. I have a family, friends, I’m a healthy weight and I work in a cool industry. My friend actually told me at the weekend that she was jealous of me and it totally blew my mind…because lads, my life is by no means perfect – and if I am giving that illusion then let’s actually debunk that once and for all.
Alongside all that amazing stuff, I have also suffered cripplingly bad OCD, anxiety, and I’m the proud owner of a rather large amount of student and credit card debt. If we’re getting real – then my car is in serious need of some new windscreen wipers that I can’t afford right now, I feel like I need to lose weight for my wedding most of the time, I can usually barely afford food by the end of the month and I’m not particularly happy at my job at this moment in time.
To all intensive purposes and in the nature of embracing honesty and total transparency- there are a lot of aspects of my life that I REALLY do not have my shit together with. But I wish that everyone would actually say this stuff out loud and stop being ashamed to admit that to the world, so that I can feel like I’m not a total failure when I admit to this stuff.
I’m totally guilty of pretending everything is amazing on social media a lot of the time, because normally it is. I don’t want to whine and moan when I have it so much better than a lot of people- but at the same time, that isn’t a reason to not share with people when shit has hit the fan. There’s no shame when you admit that actually, things aren’t always going to be perfection- but I feel like a lot of people wouldn’t dare to shatter the illusion that they so carefully curated.
I don’t want to pretend that I have my shit together and I take everything that I see posted with a healthy dose of skepticism these days. If you post a million and one things about how marv your life is, then I will probably assume that you’re compensating for something. You are allowed and entitled to feel shitty. It is not a failure on your part to say ‘actually, things aren’t ace at the moment- but that’s ok.’
There is absolutely no such thing as a ‘perfect’ life as much as we aspire to have it and genuinely believe that most people have it better than us.
The kind of blogs I love reading most of all are the ones where people explicitly say that they’re dealing or managing with a lot. I love the honesty, I love the fact that I don’t feel like I’m the only person who’s not got everything right and I wish that social media was more filled with the normal and less of the ‘my life is extraordinary’ humble brag that I see every single day.
You can still be ambitious, clever, fun, interesting, brilliant and happy- without having it together all the time. Nobody will think you’re not enviable if you admit your weaknesses. In fact, people who admit their weakness make themselves so much more human to me. They open up the trust and the honesty- and that’s something that we should all want.
We don’t all have our shit together all the time- so let’s stop pretending eh?