How many friends do you really need?

Brace yourself for potentially the most arrogant statement of 2017, but- I’ve always thought of myself as having quite a lot of friends.

When writing out my wedding guest list I was surprised at how many people I wanted to invite- and found myself actually narrowing down the people that I really wanted to see me and Luke take that big step.

But as I get older (and wiser-ish) the more I’m realizing the value of the friends who actually make the effort.

As time is ticking past- I’ve found myself questioning whether people are worth the effort it takes and if they would be willing to make that effort with me.

The quality of friends over the quantity is now one of my bigger priorities and trying to remove the people from my life who make me feel shitty is my number 1 next year.

Because the thing is- when it really, REALLY comes down to it- there are about 6 people that I would truly call in a crisis.

When I broke up with my boyfriend and was heartbroken there were around 6 people who picked up my pieces and put me back together again.

When I had shitty mental health, it was those friends who I confided in.

Yes- there are friends from old jobs, from university, from random nights out… there are friends that I used to date or friends of friends. People I would happily hang out with but probably not one on one. People I’m inviting to my wedding because they’re lovely and we’ve had great times together.

But, as of now it’s the quality friends that I’m prioritising.

They are the ones who understand how life changes as you get older, but are still there for you.

The friends who were so happy for me when I got engaged- even though it meant I wouldn’t be as down for going out anymore.

I’m a people-pleaser and there’s no doubt in my mind that a lot of my friendships over the years, have meant- that actually- I’ve been treated like shit.

I let people get away with things, boss me around and ultimately- I cut ties with them for my own mental health.

There are several amazing people in my life, and I’m only appreciating and loving them even more as I get older. It’s these people that deserve my love and effort- not the ones who get lost along the way.

Rach

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