I’m naturally a very extroverted person. I’m talkative, outspoken, opinionated and I don’t think anyone would describe me as shy in a million years.
However, I have a huge issue when it comes to self-confidence.
I’m anxious and unsure in my looks, figure, ideas and ability to cope with situations.
I’m really making an effort to change this- because it holds me back in a lot of ways.
I’ll upload a photo of myself to Instagram- only to delete it a few minutes later, because I’m worried that people will think I’m ugly or my face looks weird.
I’ll write posts that I truly think matter and are important- only to delete them because of one shitty comment or because I’m overthinking what I’m saying.
I’m nervous when I put ideas forward at work, because I’m worried that people will secretly think that they’re stupid- and therefore I don’t contribute some of my creativity to brain-storms.
But the thing is- I really don’t want to be like this.
I know in my head and my heart, that most people actually don’t really give much of a shit about what’s going on with me.
Most people are highly involved and self-interested in their own life rather than mine- but alongside this, I’d like to give myself some self-confidence.
I’m hoping to storm into 2018 with a renewed sense of confidence. So here’s what I’m trying to do to improve the situation:
Put myself out there- I’m frightened of public speaking because I’m scared that my nerves will show, that I’ll shake, my voice will crack or I’ll just say something dumb. However, my work offers me consistent opportunities to do presentations to the office. I’ve done one before, but I feel like the more that I put myself in that situation, the more confident I’ll feel in my own ability.
Not deleting things when they’re out there. I’ve trashed and removed so many posts and pictures because I’ve overthought them. But, I wrote them or posted them for a reason. I need the confidence to stick with what I’ve done sometimes.
Don’t be afraid to be bad. I LOVE art. I love drawing, painting and sketching- and I’d love to share some of the stuff that I’ve been doing lately- but I’m also not sure I’m brilliant at it. The thing is… who cares? My art is for my own enjoyment.
Act. There are a couple of people I know, that I admire SO MUCH. I love their zest, confidence and passion in what they do- so if I’m feeling a bit meh, I just imagine that I’m them. I imagine myself as them in that situation, and honestly, it helps!
I guess self-confidence is a journey.
And no- I probably won’t feel amazing all in one go- but little baby steps are the way to make it happen.