I’ve been feeling really weird lately. Since it’s coming to the end of 2017, I’ve started to feel reflective on what has been and gone, what I’ve managed to achieve- and also, the projects that started with great intentions, never to actually materialise again.
As anyone who knows me well will tell you- I’m a grand statement maker. I will declare that I’m going to, see, achieve, write, travel, read… all these different things.
And- quite often- it becomes the case.
I’ve read 34 books so far this year, I’ve watched about 40 films I’ve never seen before, I’ve travelled to 6 different countries, I’ve seen bands live… but there’s also stuff that has slipped off the radar.
On my 22nd birthday I declared that I wanted to run the Edinburgh marathon on my 23rd birthday. (Edinburgh is the best-beginner marathon apparently, because there’s not too many hills)
I made a training plan, I signed up, I found a charity- and then, everything just kind of began to fizzle out after a few weeks.
I got bored of making myself go for runs, my knees hurt- and I wanted to spend my 23rd drunkenly dancing in London, instead of travelling up to Scotland to go running.
The same thing can also be said of my NaNoWriMo- where I’ve written about what a fat-old flop that was here.
I’m not suggesting that I’m a quitter- because I really don’t think that’s the case.
If I set my mind to something, I’m fiercely determined to achieve it.
But I think, being the kind of person who is so restless, easily-distracted and dare I say, a little flaky = a recipe for disaster.
I don’t even know how you would go about dealing with this.
I suppose in a way, it’s a good thing that I have so many ideas and determination.
If you’re the kinda person who doesn’t get bored and frustrated, then sure- you’re probably more likely to stick with things. But at the same time- you’re also going to not push yourself for more.
I guess I should embrace my restlessness.
As it’s got me where I am now!
And hey, maybe I’ll run a marathon another year? (She says, sat in bed with her laptop screen squashed against her face)