Dear diary… I’m too restless

I’ve been feeling really weird lately. Since it’s coming to the end of 2017, I’ve started to feel reflective on what has been and gone, what I’ve managed to achieve- and also, the projects that started with great intentions, never to actually materialise again.

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As anyone who knows me well will tell you- I’m a grand statement maker. I will declare that I’m going to, see, achieve, write, travel, read… all these different things.

And- quite often- it becomes the case.

I’ve read 34 books so far this year, I’ve watched about 40 films I’ve never seen before, I’ve travelled to 6 different countries, I’ve seen bands live… but there’s also stuff that has slipped off the radar.

On my 22nd birthday I declared that I wanted to run the Edinburgh marathon on my 23rd birthday. (Edinburgh is the best-beginner marathon apparently, because there’s not too many hills)

I made a training plan, I signed up, I found a charity- and then, everything just kind of began to fizzle out after a few weeks.

I got bored of making myself go for runs, my knees hurt- and I wanted to spend my 23rd drunkenly dancing in London, instead of travelling up to Scotland to go running.

The same thing can also be said of my NaNoWriMo- where I’ve written about what a fat-old flop that was here.

I’m not suggesting that I’m a quitter- because I really don’t think that’s the case.

If I set my mind to something, I’m fiercely determined to achieve it.

But I think, being the kind of person who is so restless, easily-distracted and dare I say, a little flaky = a recipe for disaster.

I don’t even know how you would go about dealing with this.

I suppose in a way, it’s a good thing that I have so many ideas and determination.

If you’re the kinda person who doesn’t get bored and frustrated, then sure- you’re probably more likely to stick with things. But at the same time- you’re also going to not push yourself for more.

I guess I should embrace my restlessness.

As it’s got me where I am now!

And hey, maybe I’ll run a marathon another year? (She says, sat in bed with her laptop screen squashed against her face)

Rach

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